Silence.

27th December 2019.

There is something anomalously soothing about Silence.

Ever since I have known about the practices being worshiped by monks and also the 10 days vipassana courses being held over various places in India with the sole purpose of attaining the Peace of mind by staying quite for days, perhaps months. My mind had been constantly preoccupied wondering with what exactly does staying quite for hours does to your brain?

Even after numerous tries I couldn’t really got a chance to get into one of the courses by vipassana due to past incidents related to health issues which ultimately made me even more curious from inside.

Luckily I got a chance to shift cities and get an exposure to a whole new place with literally knowing nobody around. That’s when I decided to remain quite until situation demands me to open. To be frank it was tough. Initially, Very tough for an extrovert person like me to avoid all the verbal contacts with anyone. But the fire from within to understand and feel the need helped me throughout. It’s been almost close to 2 months that I haven’t spoken much to anyone much except parents of course. In the beginning, a sense of loneliness followed by panic attacks to actually being considered rude by people around, I have seen all. But I never stopped. I had realised that the fear of being judged by people was all gone long time back. I Infact requested my close people to leave me alone for sometime.

Cutting verbal contacts doesn’t mean not being gregarious on digital platform. I was available everywhere but just not on calls and face to face interaction.

Call it torture?

No. It wasn’t. I wasn’t depressed either. I have always been a jolly person and will always be. It’s just that at times we realise being surrounded by unwanted people with their countless advices make a nest in your head. You are so constantly bumped by their views and perspectives towards life that you often tend to forget about your own thoughts, goals, likes, dislikes, passion, and the things you are afraid of.

The decision of quiting my job and shift to a new place and start something new happened when my mind reached the saturation level.

So now. What about now? Am I happy after staying silent for months?

Happiness here might not to be the right word to use but the sense of ‘Self control’ and ‘Patience’ were the major key to my curiosity. Patience was that one thing I always lacked. What seemed so difficult has now just become a cake walk for me. And not just that, instead of blabbering nonstop with people I started to invest more time in reading. From ‘This story is not yours’ to ‘How to be a Bawse’ to ‘The train to Istanbul’ I have read all of them. Life became simple and smooth. I realised how much I love reading and how it helps me in growing.

From being over emotional towards people to actually being independent. It’s not just the body but the mind which is working independently now. I can feel it.

I can proudly say that, Finally, my Soul is at Peace in Silence. ✨